Crushed
by NimbusSeeker70
Summary: Hermione and Ron had a little more history than we knew about before he began dating Lavender... Hermione's PoV.


**Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, am not J.K. Rowling, and I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, spells, creatures, etc. mentioned in this fanfiction.**

Hermione felt like she'd been slapped in the face. She'd been there for Ron for SIX YEARS, and _this_ was how he repaid her? She ran from the Gryffindor Common Room, away from a snogging Ron and Lavender Brown, and dashed down several corridors before finally stopping.

She sat down on a desk, beginning to cry. After everything that had happened between them... All of the signal's he'd sent her... Ohh how there were so many of those. And sometimes the way he looked at her just made her heart melt. And, of course, there had been the night on the train...

**A Memory-**

Hermione sat quietly next to Ron on the way to Hogwarts to their sixth year. Harry and Neville had gone off to some strange meeting with the new potions master, Professor Slughorn, and Luna had gone to find a few friends, leaving just the two of them sitting in the compartment.

Hermione yawned. Even though it was the middle of the afternoon, she'd been up very early, making sure she had all of her homework completed, all of her things packed, and then triple-checking both of those things. Needless to say, she was exhausted.

Sighing, she leaned her head against the wall of the compartment, but the train hit a large bump, slamming her head into the wall quite hard. She sat up and rubbed her temple where it had been bumped, abandoning any attempt at sleeping.

"Are you feeling alright?" asked Ron.

"What? Oh, yes," said Hermione. "I'm just tired is all. I've been up since five this morning, making sure I was ready to go back to Hogwarts!"

"Take a nap, then," said Ron matter-of-factly.

"I would," said Hermione. "But the wall of a moving train doesn't make the best pillow."

"Ah," said Ron. "I can imagine why."

They sat in silence for a long time, and Hermione yawned again. Her eyes were getting slightly droopy.

"You know," said Ron. He coughed. "You can sleep on my shoulder if you'd like." He looked at her with kind, waiting eyes, and Hermione felt a bit of color rise into her cheeks.

"Really?" she asked.

"Really," Ron confirmed.

Slightly hesitantly, she scooted closer to Ron so she was right next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. For a while, it was a little bit better, but soon enough, her neck started to ache from resting at an odd angle. She shifted a little.

"You comfortable?" asked Ron.

"Yes...?" Hermione said, her eyes still shut.

She felt Ron's arm move, and before she knew it, it was around her shoulders. Gently, he pulled her a little bit closer to him, so her head was resting more on his chest than his shoulder.

"Better?" Ron asked. Hermione couldn't see, because her eyes were still closed, but it sounded like he was probably smiling.

Hermione nodded wordlessly, positive she was blushing furiously. Slowly but surely, the noise of the train and chattering students began to grow more distant, and she fell asleep.

She didn't wake up again until she felt a hand gently stroke her hair several times. "Hey," said Ron quietly. "We're almost to Hogsmeade."

Hermione sat up and rubbed her eyes. When they adjusted to the light and came into full focus, she looked at Ron. He was staring at her with a very thoughtful expression on his face.

"What?" she asked. _Did I do something wrong? _she worried to herself. For quite some time, she'd been trying to shove her feelings for Ron down into her stomach, but this seemed like a perfect opening. Maybe he'd finally be willing to move into the boyfriend category!

Ron coughed and looked away. "Sorry," he muttered. "Just thinking."

**Back to Real Life-**

Hermione tugged herself out of the now-painful memory as the tears began to drip down her cheeks. For so long, she'd waited for something like that to happen, and when it did, it seemed like things might finally work out the way she wanted them to between she and Ron, but that had been before _the talk_.

**Another Memory-**

"Hermione," said Ron, appearing almost out of nowhere as she packed up her things after charms. "Could I talk to you for a moment?"

"Of course," said Hermione brightly, hoping this might be the moment Ron finally asked her out. They had a free period next, so she walked with him down the hallway to the Common Room. Harry, it seemed, had already left.

"Look, um..." said Ron awkwardly. Hermione's heart began to sink. "You're awesome, and I really like you, but I dunno where I want this to go." Ron paused and cleared his throat. "I'm not sure I'll ever make a very good boyfriend."

"Oh," said Hermione, trying to sound dismissive. "Okay."

"No," said Ron. "I mean, I'd probably be _really _bad at being someone's boyfriend. Like, absolutely awful at it. Honestly, I'd be-"

"What are you trying to say?" Hermione finally asked.

"What I'm trying to say," said Ron. "Is you're one of my best friends and I love hanging out with you, but I don't think we should date."

"Yes," said Hermione as quickly as she could. "I absolutely agree." Why was she lying like this? She absolutely did _not_ agree with Ron's declaration, but she was just desperate to come across as though she didn't really mind. She didn't want to come across as desperate.

"Oh," said Ron. "Alright then. I guess it's settled."

The rest of the walk back to the Common Room was incredibly awkward. Neither of them really said much. That was the moment their friendship began to unravel, slowly and painfully...

**Back to Real Life-**

"Hermione?" said Harry's voice.

She was once again pulled out of her memories to find herself being circled by small yellow birds. Apparently, she'd accidentally conjured them in her absentmindedness. She couldn't decide whether that was impressive or pathetic.

"Oh, hello Harry," she said. She glanced up at the birds. "I was just practicing."

"Yeah," said Harry. "They're, er... Really good."

"Ron seems to be enjoying the celebrations," Hermione said bitterly.

"Er... Does he?" asked Harry.

"Don't pretend you didn't see him. He wasn't exactly hiding it, was-?"

A horrified look appeared on Harry's face, and Hermione froze, as Ron came laughing in, pulling Lavender by the hand.

"Oh," said Ron.

"Oops!" giggled Lavender. She backed away and out the door, giggling like a mad person. _Pathetic_, Hermione thought to herself. _She's pathetic._

After the most horrible silence Hermione had ever experienced, Ron looked at Harry. "Hi, Harry!" he said. "Wondered where you got off to!"

Hermione, almost subconsciously, slid off the desk, the birds following her.

"You shouldn't leave Lavender waiting outside," she said in a very quiet voice. "She'll wonder where you've gone." She began to walk slowly towards the door, hardly even aware of what she was doing. She was wandering around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Suddenly, a ridiculous feeling came over her, and before she could stop herself, she pointed her wand at Ron. _"Oppoguno!" _she screamed. The little flock of birds attacked Ron, pecking and clawing at him.

Horrified, Hermione turned and ran out the door, barely hearing Ron shout, "Gerremoffme!"

As hard as she tried to control her emotions, she allowed a loud sob to escape her throat.

She ran down the corridor towards who-knows-where, sobbing the entire time. When she finally felt far enough away from that terrible classroom where she'd just destroyed her friendship with Ron, she sunk to the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees and still sobbing.

**A Memory-**

Hermione smiled at Ron as she sat down awkwardly across from him at the table in the Great Hall. Harry wasn't at breakfast yet, and in the past two weeks, since Ron had declared his not-so-undying-love for her, it had been horribly awkward between the two of them.

"Morning," said Ron after a long pause.

"Morning," she replied, burying her face in a book.

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. "Alright," she said, slamming her book shut and putting it on the table. "We need to talk about this. I know it's been awkward since the day we talked, but just because we decided not to date doesn't mean we should stop being friends."

Ron sighed. "I know," he said. "You're right."

Hermione looked him up and down a few times. "If you don't mind me asking, why did you even make a move on the train in the first place?"

"Can we go talk somewhere else?" asked Ron. "I'd rather talk to you in private."

Hermione nodded and they both stood, exiting the Great Hall. "Let's go down towards the Transfiguration room," she said. "That's our first class and nobody will be there."

When Ron was certain everyone else was out of earshot, he turned to look at Hermione, and they stopped walking. ""Look," he said. "I just wasn't sure how I felt about you. One day it felt like it would work, and dating would be great, and then the next day it seemed a terrible idea. I guess that day on the train was an 'it would work' day. I'm sorry if it seemed like I was using you."

"It's okay," said Hermione. "But honestly I just wish you hadn't done it. It's been so awkward."

"I know," said Ron. "And I'm really sorry about that. You're one of my best friends and I don't want to mess that up, but I just don't think dating is a fantastic idea."

_Why not? _Hermione thought to herself, but she didn't dare voice that aloud. "That's fine with me," she said instead. "Just as long as we stay friends..."

Ron nodded, and a few voices of their fellow classmates began to drift down the hallway. Hermione checked her watch and saw that class would start rather soon.

"One more question," she said quickly. "Did that mean anything to you, or...?"

"Of course it did," Ron said. "And really, I think it's okay for friends to have a nap on each other shoulders every once in a while."

Had Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil not walked around the corner at that moment, Hermione would have protested a little bit at that statement. She didn't feel it was quite right for someone to make a move, however small it was, and then just change their minds about it. And then to add that statement at the end...

**Back to Real Life-**

Sobbing as the final memory faded, Hermione stared at the wall in front of her. She'd known that she and Ron had been growing apart, but despite her best efforts to push the feelings down, there was always the hope that maybe he would change his mind.

His last statement before Transfiguration had doomed her to eternal hoping, to put it dramatically.

How could he do this to her? Where did Lavender even _come _from? She and Ron had barely spoken two words to each other since the first day of their first year, and he chose her over Hermione?

She felt like a cockroach being trodden on by hundreds of pairs of feet- small, insignificant, irrelevant to the world in general. Deep down, she knew nobody should ever have the power to make her feel that way, but she couldn't help it. She'd been falling for the redheaded boy for years, and the day on the train had finally given her a reason to let herself fall.

He just hadn't been there to catch her.

In all her life, she'd never felt so alone.

She was crushed.

**A/N: As usual, please leave comments! Thanks everyone!**


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